A guy tried to pick me up the other day and it was so bad that I thought I would share how bad it was so that others can learn from his mistakes.
1) Do NOT try to pick up a woman while in a Pizza Hut line inside a Target.
2) DO notice that she is buying two individual size pizzas and is carrying a huge bag of diapers.
3) Do NOT try to pick up a woman while you are wearing a sleeping 1.5 year old in a carrier strapped to your front.
4) DO know that she helped you pick up the dollar bill you dropped because she thought you were a fellow parent and understood your situation. She did NOT do it to give you an opening to hit on her AND when she realizes that you took advantage of the situation to lure her into a conversation, she will NOT be happy. You don’t want to make momma unhappy.
5) Do NOT try to pick up a woman by asking her “Do you know any good restaurants around here,” followed by, “Do you know where this conversation is going?”
6) DO note that her wedding ring glitters brilliantly in the fluorescent Target lighting and she’s not just wearing the ring because her husband would be pissed if she wasn’t. She’s also wearing it to send a message to men just like you and the message is not “come hither you hunka hunka…ooo, is that an Ergo?”
