Urrgghh. Again.
Dear Minnesota Twins,
You are now 3-22 in Yankee Stadium since 2002, thanks to three more losses over the weekend in each of which you had the lead and then decided it would only be right to give the game, through a host of hideous scoring squanders, pitching mistakes and fielding errors, to your aging, average opponent (despite its having spent 400 million in the offseason) which needs only your presence to feel good about itself again. Since you seem incapable of rising above the standard of gutless incompetence which characterizes all of the sports teams in your city, we would very much appreciate it if you immediately disband and allow professional teams to take your place. You know, the ones which don’t fall on their swords the minute they see a pinstriped uniform.
Sincerely,
Every other team in baseball
P.S. Oakland Athletics: please see above.
