Mayor Crusades Against Baggy Pants
A Florida mayor, apparently nostalgic for Nazi Germany, has lobbied to criminalize the wearing of baggy pants in his town. Last year, Riviera Beach mayor, and assumed facsist, Thomas Masters, convinced 72% of his constituents to pass a town ordinance that fined baggy pants wearers to the tune of $150. Repeat offenders can earn larger fines and even mandatory jail sentences.
Riviera Beach officials consider baggy pants to be part of a culture associated with drug dealing and other criminal activity. Apparently local police have found it too difficult to effectively prosecute laws already on the books, so they have taken to locking up those citizens without pre-approved wardrobes.
An unusually sane Palm Beach judge has already ruled the ‘Saggy, Baggy Pants Law’ unconstitutional, but Mayor Masters isn’t giving up so easily. Reports from his administration indicate that he is considering future proposals to criminalize slang speech, wearing crooked baseball caps, and driving while under the influence of 50 Cent.