We here at TMR usually pride ourselves on the ability to wade through the internet’s digital morass of celebrity nonsense, gadget fetishism, and vacuous top-10 lists, to bring you something unique and substantive every day. Today I’m going to have to temporarily surrender.
You see, a certain unnamed former sexpot and pop-star died today. Therefore, there is no other news.
It seems that every time a well-endowed blond woman croaks, the internet has to hold the equivalent of a Presidential Funeral Procession. I’m beginning to think that one’s eulogy karma is completely reliant on the number of sexual fantasies they spawned in others over the course of a lifetime. Of course it doesn’t help that the internet is generally run by the male age-bracket that the unnamed sexpot weaned through their first tender auto-erotic experiences.
Anyway, we did our due diligence here. A few other stories of note today:
Conan O’Brien is a douche for surreptitiously sneaking in plugs for In & Out Burger and passing it off as normal host banter.
Wired Editor in Chief, Chris Anderson, is a douche for pasting large swaths of Wikipedia (without credit) and other texts into his new book.
And finally, over-covered South Carolina douche, Governor Mark Sanford, is an AWOL douche.
Back with more when something actually happens in the world.
Update: Ok, truth be told, I originally posted this about 20 minutes before hearing of Jackson’s heart attack and death. I will absolutely grant that his death is somewhat more noteworthy than that of the unnamed former sexpot. But honestly, it really seems consistent with the whole obsessive celebrity culture nonsense that I usually rail against. So, I’m not going to reminisce or retract anything — just note that a slow news day will inevitably turn into a slow news week.
