Really, where the hell was this when I was in sixth grade?

Thank bejesus I have no plans on buying a PS3. Though taking nature photographs of RPG fiends frolicking with trolls does seem like a pleasant way to spend Valentine’s Day. Surely Sony could have found some way to augment this lamely 2D experience into a more Avatar-ish 3D?

Compelling video of Canadian sports heroes holding their doobie torches aloft while they wait for something… anything to happen.

Much as I hate privacy, I am starting to come around to the idea that Facebook and Twitter are the beginning of the end of the Golden Age of the Internet. Purely because I charge them each with half a count of the murder of blogging.

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In Mep land, the post-Superbowl week is heralded not for parades and fanfare and All-American splendor. It is, instead, the highly anticipated (if unofficial) start of the baseball season.

And while baseball reality is certainly exciting what with the three Mep favorites (M’s, Sox, and Yanks) all poised to be major contenders this year, baseball fantasy is also right around the corner.

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On this bleak winter morning in a country seemingly coming apart at the seams, two heartening reminders (check out the poll results) that the internet will always trump mindless mass-media propaganda.

Image via Reddit user, hiddencross.

While American citizens are demonstrating their good will, as they do, on cue, whenever informed of a disaster of the magnitude of the Haitian earthquake, we largely remain oblivious of their own government’s direct role in the plight of one of the poorest nations on Earth.

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Don’t think the moral lines are being blurred by those asked to go to war for the ideals of torturing people born in a different place?

Think again.

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Some eye-opening testimony from Ugandan citizens in response to a new state measure that would call for either life imprisonment or the death penalty for anyone convicted of practicing homosexuality.

What’s truly astonishing about the Sarah Palin story is not her complete lack of qualifications to run for any office, let alone President–beauty pageant contestant, mayor of a town smaller than the one I grew up in (no mean feat), half term governor of Alaska, and teabagger phenomenon.  No, what’s astonishing about the Sarah Palin story is the breathtaking way in which a pathological liar gets drunk on one giant feedback loop of fairy tales, thrown so headlong into the mirror of her own ego that she won’t be done picking up the shattered pieces until after she’s crushed in the general election (and probably not even then).  Or how hypocrisy–“[Obama’s] a guy with a teleprompter,” from Palin’s speech at the Teabagger convention–gets publicly revealed in the most delightful ways:

Oops!

Yep.  It’s Sarah Palin’s hand, and those are notes from the EXACT SAME SPEECH WITH THE “OBAMA AS TELEPROMPTER GUY” LINE.

We here at The Mep Report are begging, nay, pleading with you, Sarah: the teabaggers need you.  The Republicans need you.  Your country needs you.  And most of all, and as always most importantly, YOU need you.  Please, please run for President. It would truly be a year of wonders.