I finally figured out what I want for my birthday… Unfortunately there’s only one known set in existence and it’s going for $5,500.

For those not initiated, this art installation/board game is based on the Hunter S Thompson novel/movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Speaking of which, here’s an old BBtv show I created with a similar theme.

Originally posted on The Fresh Scent.

To get a sense of what the enhanced version of this otherwise craptastic Ben Stiller movie might sound like, look no further than this history lecture by former University of Florida Professor, John Hall. Unfortunately, he’s a former professor now because the University got wind of this command performance and immediately dismissed him from the faculty.

That doesn’t seem particularly fair. Apparently the University of Florida operates on the ’stoning for being a stoner’ philosophy. Code of Hammurabi? Duuuuuude…

Originally posted on The Fresh Scent.

Like a hungry stoner scavenging through the kitchen cupboards for a stray graham cracker, the US Border Patrol has found its resources sadly lacking recently. Amidst administration demands for more recruitment and hiring, the Border Patrol has turned to a tried and true tactic of depleted armies throughout history — conscripting children.

The Explorers Program, a Boy Scouts of America affiliate, trains the pubescent in the art of raiding dens of iniquity, seizing illegally imported goods, and patrolling barren wastelands. In the words of a California sheriff’s deputy involved with the program:

This is about being a true-blooded American guy and girl.

While it’s unclear what his hermaphroditic reference is all about, it does seem like a wonderful opportunity for these kids to participate in the formative experience that is pepper-spraying a starving immigrant right in the eye socket. That kind of invaluable interaction will really put some hair on the chests of our next crop of soldier-kids.

Quick hit informational video about the SWAT reform movement.

Originally posted on The Fresh Scent.

The Medical Marijuana referendum brigade is on the warpath.

Today it’s setting its sights on Illinois, where State Senator William Haine (D) has sponsored the Compassionate Use of Cannabis Pilot Program Act. And, as per usual, some of Senator Haine’s colleagues are playing the role of Cretin’s Advocate, as they argue for the logically challenged.

Soft-brained Senator Patricia Bellock (R) noted:

“It is the No. 1 drug that introduces young people to other drugs.”

Common knowledge would tell one that a plant doesn’t have the sentience or social skills necessary to introduce people to other inanimate objects. So, unless Senator Bellock is secretly an Herbal Animist Witch (and thus privy to inside information), this argument doesn’t seem to hold much weight.

Simple State Rep Julie Hamos expressed some further concerns about the bill:

…I’m worried about giving plants to patients.

Perhaps Julie is right. It does seem incredibly dangerous to give sick people access to plants. Much better to keep them in sterilized tube-bubbles while they pop rainbow-colored pills that are seventeen steps removed from anything that occurs in nature. We should be pumping as many chemicals into the sick and dying as possible. Giving them access to plants only reminds them that there is a living world outside their hospital cell windows. This could dangerously reinvigorate the suffering.

State Rep. Lou Lang (D) summed the whole thing up pretty well:

The opposition is coming from members… who don’t have the guts to say ‘yes’… They are fearful of their next election and looking for excuses, while people are out there suffering.

Lou’s right on the money. Politicians have a history of being a heck of a lot more paranoid than pot smokers. Rationality can be very hard to come by this time of year.

A Florida mayor, apparently nostalgic for Nazi Germany, has lobbied to criminalize the wearing of baggy pants in his town. Last year, Riviera Beach mayor, and assumed facsist, Thomas Masters, convinced 72% of his constituents to pass a town ordinance that fined baggy pants wearers to the tune of $150. Repeat offenders can earn larger fines and even mandatory jail sentences.

Riviera Beach officials consider baggy pants to be part of a culture associated with drug dealing and other criminal activity. Apparently local police have found it too difficult to effectively prosecute laws already on the books, so they have taken to locking up those citizens without pre-approved wardrobes.

An unusually sane Palm Beach judge has already ruled the ‘Saggy, Baggy Pants Law’ unconstitutional, but Mayor Masters isn’t giving up so easily. Reports from his administration indicate that he is considering future proposals to criminalize slang speech, wearing crooked baseball caps, and driving while under the influence of 50 Cent.

Originally posted at The Fresh Scent

Richard Fleihr, 21, son of WWE Hall of Famer, Ric Flair, was arrested Sunday when officers found heroin inside his car. Apparently Fleihr was setting up for his patented double-axe handled syringe-injector suplex, when a Charlotte police officer executed a dramatic wrist lock immobilizer.

Though this was Fleihr’s first recorded smack-related arrest, he had been booked on a DUI less than two months ago, and was driving without a valid license. When the arresting officer pointed this out, Fleihr raised his hands to an invisible crowd and shouted “Wooooo!”

He sure has a lot of his father in him.

Originally posted at The Fresh Scent

Spending long hours traveling back and forth to your local lab? Tired of lining up huge networks of hydroponics to get the grow houses running? Then, drop all that effort-intensive work and try some crack today! All you need to start is a microwave oven. It’s the easy, breezy way to create your very own illegal narcotics.

According to the TCPalm, Javaris Kirk, of Fort Pierce, Florida, was arrested last week after allegedly admitting to making crack-cocaine with his microwave oven. Mr. Kirk later admitted that he was a convicted felon and, as such, felt a special bond with Martha Stewart.

Authorities searching his home also found five ecstasy tablets in his bathroom, a 9mm pistol with no serial, and a homemade tea cozy crafted out of extra table cloth.

Yet another reason why the TARP bailout packages failed the American public… Explained in a recent article I wrote for Scenario Magazine.

“Banksters, Enronites, Ponzi schemers, pin striped pimps! Public rage against bankers and the banking industry has never been stronger since the recent economic meltdown. Raping our IRAs, forcing us all into poverty, and foreclosing on the middle class seems to be the bankers’ business plan. People would really blow up if they realized that there is still another category of ongoing financial crimes that is flying completely under the radar. Just like all the others, this type of financial crime is firmly entrenched in the banking community and is part of the Business as Usual mentality. The forgotten outrage? Money Laundering.

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It’s a Brave New World out there. Legalization debates have gone from the fringe of freak counterculture circles, to the front page of the most revered conservative economic magazine in Europe.

While it’s encouraging that the mainstream public (or at least the internet public) is starting to rationally discuss possible endings for the half-century debacle known as the War on Drugs, I don’t believe we’ll see any substantial changes from the Obama team.

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