In the strangely prophetic movie Demolition Man, all restaurants are Taco Bells (Tacos Bell?). Apparently Taco Bell was the final victor in the “franchise wars” that Sandra Bullock’s character describes as one of the key events of the early 21st century.
Welcome to the future, friends. Today, the internet at large reported that Circuit City has joined KB Toys, Linens and Things, and The Sharper Image in the ever-growing elephant graveyard of defunct franchises.
And to this commentator, a much more interesting question than “Who’s next?” is “Who’s last?” Who will ultimately win the franchise wars and provide all of our goods and services in our soon-approaching distopian, fascist, future state?
The good money is on Wallmart, or SuperWallMart, or even UltraMegaBigHappyFunTimeWallmart. But there are other contenders as well. Best Buy may decide to raid Time Warner in a bid to turn off the Internet and starve out Amazon.com. Anne Taylor may surreptitiously place explosives in all of the hoop earrings at JCPenny. The possibilities are endless. And I look forward to all of them.
A random moment of inspiration caused the realization that the lore behind Iron Man is disturbingly similar to that of the Tin Man. So, I tried to meld the concepts a little.
Chicken-infected Salt, Microwaving for Great Justice, Small Town Stores, The Great/Terrible Debate about GE Foods, Rehabbing from BoingBoing, Trapped in Jdate Vortexes, Pining for Universal Zombism, and the True Origins of Nien Nunb.
My last minute idea for a BBtv April Fool’s episode… The theme in the elevator scene is a version of the Numa Numa song composed by my cousin, musician Reed Black.
One of my favorite Klaus Pierre pieces. We set him loose around Santa Monica where he literally stopped traffic with his attempts to woo local females. A lot of this is just spot-on Klaus improv.
Of all the nutball ideas I came up with for BBtv, this one was my pride and joy. Created for Uncle Duke (HST). The VO is a little flat, as we ended up putting the wrong take of my HST impression into the video. So it goes…
The second half is an animated short by Eric Henry.
One part of my job at BBtv was to find animation hiding in obscurity on the internet and acquire it for free (in exchange for promotional links and such). Here was one of the best such pieces; originally aired on the Thailand MTV awards.
The Kris Kringle of Kaspersky, Waiting for Bureacracy and Global Climate Trends, Craigslist’s Free Rent for Nakeds, John Woo’s Body Swapper, Diplomatic Abortions, and Unanimous Euthenasia, and the Great Baby Migration of 2176, and A New Emu.
Chinese Dissidents Discover Emus, Incompetent Translation, The Teddy Bear that Shall Not be Named, Darwinian Cannabalism, The Internet Saga of ‘Two Girls One Cup’, Russ Identifies with Surfers who Rob Banks while Wearing Nixon Masks, And a Special Edition of Mep Lore: Drug Variety Night.
