I’ve been sequestering myself recently absorbing all five seasons of The Wire. I would venture to say that it is the greatest television drama ever created. It delves into some painful truths about urbran life, corrupt bureaucracies, and addiction. It forces you to rethink old stereotypes that you may have held.
On the surface, the series covers the Baltimore City Police’s crusade to bring down a local drug kingpin. But there are no true good guys or bad. Every character is flawed to some degree. In fact, the most consistently ethical character throughout the series is a gay drug stash stick-up man and murderer named Omar…
A hearty congratulations are in order. Ashton Kutcher’s Twitter feed reached the pinnacle of uselessness this week when it became the first to garner 1,000,000 subscribers
Enjoy the pandering for Twit sign-ups as his mom/spouse, Demi Moore, scolds him for getting too worked up in his electioneering.
In narrowly beating out CNN to the million mark, Kutcher will now undoubtedly hold a virtual monopoly on the dissemination of Twit-centric retellings of mongoloid celebrity Punkings.
Now, obviously I’m not talking about the asshats who kidnapped Captain Phillips in last weekend’s widely publicized story.
But, as it turns out, the Somali Pirate movement was started as the “Volunteer Coastguard of Somalia,” in response to major EU countries dumping nuclear waste and other toxic chemicals on the shores of the recently collapsed nation.
Apparently EU dickheads have been abusing the coastal areas off Somalia for years, illegally overfishing the waters when their own fisheries became depleted and dumping waste that could not be cheaply disposed of otherwise.
Unfortunately, once the opportunity for profit came into the equation, more of the seedy elements emerged that make up most of the “newsworthy” pirate stories of recent note.
But, just like the pirates of old, their inception was just as much a reaction to tyranny and abuses of power as it was to profit motive.
So… Yo Ho Ho, and stick it in your craw, EU. Let’s give these brave boys their due.
Earlier this week in front of his weekly board meeting in the San Diego office, AP chairman, Dean Singleton, cried foul.
In complaining about the unlicensed use of AP stories all over the blogosphere, Singleton actually conjured up the old Network tagline: “We’re mad as hell, and we’re not going to take it anymore!”
Well, let’s visit the original context of that quote for a moment…
After watching this series of clips, it occurred to me that Vincent devotes every iota of his mental energy to figuring out whether a clockwise or counterclockwise spin best shows off the powder blue in his Gor-Tex suit.
Given the rising tide of fanboyo-fueled rage against the recent works of George Lucas, Kurtz is finally being recognized as one of primary forces behind the quality of the Holy Trilogy.
As it turns out, if old George hadn’t been steering the ship for Return of the Jedi, Darth Vader may have convinced Luke to rule the Empire alongside him. Also, Lando would have (rightfully) perished in the Death Star explosion, and the Ewoks would have all contracted forest ticks and be systematically exterminated by their rebel friends.
Oh well. At least we’ve got Kurtz’s new indie project, ‘77, to look forward to. May the Force be with him.
Master of the hilariously offensive, Sacha Baron Cohen’s new movie, Bruno, was found so objectionable by the MPAA that it is going to receive an NC-17 rating. In other words, we have now, as a society, recognized “comic porn” as a form of entertainment.
And so, without further ado, the newly released Bruno trailer.
Gerontologist Aubrey de Grey is at it again. In an article from the Daily Galaxy, de Grey claims that, “…most people now 40 years or younger can expect to live for centuries…” and ““The first person to live to be 1,000 years old is certainly alive today..”
1,000 years? Hold your horses there, Methuselah. Laserfalcon only claims to be on his way to 400 years of life. If many of us have got ten centuries of existence to plan for, we’re going to have to really start working on our leisure time skills. I mean, yes, I’ve played over 1000 games of MVP 2005, but that barely got me through three months of total existence.
It’s time to really push the envelope. We’ve got to develop more efficient ways of wasting time, and fast. And, when it comes to questions such as these, I often look to the Japanese. They rarely disappoint.
And so, we have immortal leisure activity #1, Human Tetris:
This could occupy societies for a few decades, perhaps. But eventually, someone would figure out that you can smash through the styrofoam with reckless abandon and never be eliminated…
So, let’s see what else the Japanese have for us:
Yes. Yes… Mmmmhmm. I find this appealing.
…
…
Ehhh, what?
Ah… my supervisory staff has informed me that I’ve spent the last 16 hours acting out various Ronald MacDonald-fueled hallucinations. They found me head-butting a barber-shop pole while throwing very large shoes at passers by. I need to shake this off and ponder immortality another time.
