In case you haven’t already heard, a British and French nuclear-powered submarine collided about two weeks ago in the mid-Atlantic, though apparently nothing serious happened (otherwise I have a suspicion we would have, er, noticed). But you’ll be happy to know that the crack investigators of the respective militaries have just figured out why:
“The accident probably happened because the two submarines were not aware of each other.”
Oh, crazy veteran military investigators! Is there anything you can’t figure out?
Scientists have recently discovered evidence of an immortal species of jellyfish. Apparently these little suckers revert to an adolescent phase after mating, and can do so ad infinitum. And you laughed at me when I said I was going to live to be 400!
Take heart, friends. It is now only a matter of time before we unlock the cellular secrets inside these Holy Hydrozoans and sell their special genetic heritage in an easily digestible liquid capsule that also serves as birth control while providing instant male enhancement.
By my watch, only another 65 years or so before we are all forever-living, constantly aroused quasi-squids, living in stasis tanks with wi-fi ready electrodes hooked up to each and every tentacle.
Kudos to HG Wells for figuring this out a century ago (minus the Cialis angle).
So as I understand it, the scientists want to find this out so they can fail the same way he did. They’re not interested in dealing with his successes, you see. Only his failures.
…
…because this will prove at least we can screw up as much as a genius, right?
