Follow Us on TikTok
You are currently browsing the archives for the Websites category.
One of my favorite sports writers, Bill Simmons, noticed last week that Kobe Bryant had added the Testicle Dance to his celebration repertoire after hitting a late (seemingly game clinching) 4th quarter shot against the Spurs. Here’s the video:
Useful tutorial brought to you by shlock warehouse, Everything is Terrible.
This video completely knocked me on my ass. It is stunningly good. Couldn’t wait until Tuesday to post. Enjoy…
Via Greendot Films.
In this putrid economy, searching a job via the internet can be a very self destructive exercise. Application e-mails get lost in the void like so many pieces of space garbage, orbiting the neglected inbox of some pimply quasi-intern, who’s been tasked with the responsibility of reading through a thousand thousand pleas to be interviewed for the opening on the turd-polishing team.
Well, friends, seekers, here is the first tool in your toolbox to combat this trend. I give you the anti-rejection e-mail template:
———————————————————
Dear Overstressed Manager of Applications,
I realize that this is but one of literally thousands of e-mails you receive on a weekly basis requesting entry into your project. I cannot imagine what sort of voodoo-esque speed-reading rituals you must have developed over the course of your training to deal with this reality.
Perhaps, as a consummate Scrabbble player, you only invite in applicants whose names feature ‘X,’ ‘Q,’ and ‘Z’ prominently. Perhaps you print out the e-mails and craft paper dirigibles, powered by microwaved popcorn vapor, to see whose can reach the cubicle furthest along the horizon.
It is not meant for me to know these things. But having briefly spoken to the standing Chieftain of the Overstressed Manager of
E-mails, I got the sense that you had paltry little time to listen to an individual plead their case for entry, no matter the circumstance.
And yet, here I am pleading such a case. You, sir or madam, would do well for yourself to invite me in for a meeting. I am not a random spamling of an e-mail sender. I am a transcendent talent, the likes of which Overstressed Managers such as yourself spend a lifetime in an utterly futile pursuit of.
E-mails like this do not end up in your lap willy-nilly. You have just won the Grand Powerball Lottery of anonymous e-mails. I suggest you act on it immediately, and craft a mighty paper dirigible that files striaght and true over the heads of awestruck cubiclees everywhere.
I await your very personalized and heartfelt response…
Sincerely,
Your Name Here
Resurrecting this old Mep relic for your enjoyment. This was a copy of an online dating profile that I had authored to see what kind of reaction a completely contrarian (and wildly cranky) profile would get.
Hi and welcome to a brand new manifestation for mepreport.com. (TMR). TMR started at the end of 2005 as a way for three old friends (from the Brandeis debate team) to keep in touch with each other. Nearly every week, we’d all log in to Teamspeak and shoot the breeze for hours and hours. At some point, some knucklehead starting recording and posting these conversations. The rest is history.
We now have literally hundreds of hours of free entertainment for your media consuming pleasure. Feel free to listen to a podcast episode (a one hour radio show which could be categorized as a “talk show” or “improvised comedy show”), watch one of our videos (originally created for promotion of the podcast), check out some Mep Art (cover art that accompanies each released episode), or read articles written by various Meppers. The choice is yours.
Since this format is brand new to us, we would love any feedback or criticism that you may have for us. Feel free to e-mail at any time to ask questions or make suggestions for improvements. You can find our contact info in the left hand bar.
Thanks for visiting,
The Emu
Former Senator Ted Stevens has been an internet punching bag for some time now. This was our attempt to get in on the Stevens-bashing action after the bribery scandal and indictment that marred his re-election campaign.
The video didn’t take off the way we had hoped, but it was insanely fun to produce.
A quick little nod to Josh Hamilton’s performance in the All-Star Game’s Home Run Derby. Little did I know the firestorm it would create. MLB Advanced Media (i.e. Major League Baseball Attorneys) had YouTube take the video down for trademark infringement. I then sent a counter notice which persuaded the MLB legal team to reinstate the video.
The entire affair was recorded for posterity on Professor Lawrence Lessig’s blog…
The Wilson Baby Rocks the DPS, John McCain as a DragonBall Z Character, Shopping for Homophobes, Classic Rock Pwnage, Neil Young Loves Trains, the Mind-Boggling Success of “Daft Hands,” and How Many Five Year Olds Can You Take Down?
Listen Now!
Chicken-infected Salt, Microwaving for Great Justice, Small Town Stores, The Great/Terrible Debate about GE Foods, Rehabbing from BoingBoing, Trapped in Jdate Vortexes, Pining for Universal Zombism, and the True Origins of Nien Nunb.
Listen Now!
